so unproductive"fix you" Coldplay

today I got home after my long day (4 powers) and was unproductive. yesterday was so productive. today I feel so blah.

I spent close to an hour on the phone with a friend? a friend? who knows. gosh, I hope he doesn't think I'm specially interested. I need new thoughts, new input, new stimulus.

and I want the familiar

and I want to make sense

and for the whole world to just work dammit! just be good to each other, be less selfish, fight less, share more...is that so difficult? or at least be civil to each other.
somewhere there's a verse that says the world will never be at peace until Jesus Christ returns. As fearsome as that is, I wish the day would come sooner. But I'm afraid for everyone that matters to me, and everyone who doesn't.

damn damn damn! I feel so small today, so uninfluencial. We're pouring time and energy into this tournament and making people's lives better, and I wish that people wouldn't need this help, or that other people would donate more or that things would just fix themselves!

I'm trying to think of what's due for Thursday. My resting days, W and F are going to be full as heck. Preschool/Scrabble prep tomorrow morning, lunch with a "boss", class, meeting with DN to talk more scrabble, then HHR, then BS...and I still haven't seen 27 dresses...

I apologized to that chinese boy via Facebook. how contemporary of me. and probably insincere sounding. but whatever, I'm feeling a little "who cares" right now. I won't marry him, or any other Chinese boy or any other Hmong boy or any other unfortunate guy. Let's save one life during my life, by not saying "yes".

*big yawn* something is setting me not at ease.