Did a good bit of homework then he was leaving so I left too. He was going to drop me off but instead I didn't feel like going to the dorm. Ended up driving somewhere to the East. The jokes he played were definetely making me more uncomfortable by the second - it was like he was trying to make me upset but also playing it as a joke.
Sat by the lake and talked a little. God, the things he said just twisted me inside. I wanted to straighten things out with him, but at the same time, it just got more and more twisted.
Finally he let off and apologized. I don't understand him, if he wants something so much from me, why does he keep making me upset? I want to be friends with everyone but sometimes when you have no regard for how the other person feels it's hard.
Just major awkwardness tonight.
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Then M's girlfriend called me back while I was doing homework. She and I talked a little about ourselves then she wanted to hear about M. So I told her what I felt was the almost-essence of M. I hear a small laugh or something that definetely was M and I realized that she had three-wayed me after calling M and he heard everything.
Fortunately everything was safe for him to hear and we did have a nice little talk afterwards. She seems ok, not too bad..not fantastic but that's just a first impression.
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Called Nik to make things more awkward for everyone.
There is no end to the awkwardness
and I just wish someone out there really got it and could fix these messes.
I know I should just go right to the root of the problem and not search around spreading it. But sometimes guys are just so dense.
Too ridiculously late to safely call any one. But I guess it wouldn't help, and maybe I just brought this on myself.
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