Went to his place in McFarland...out there...talked with his parents, toured the new house, talked with his sis...
After his dad came back with the car, headed back to the West Side and we just pushed off everything on our hearts.
Talking with the Matchmaker...is unlike talking with any one else...even now so late at night I think about what we shared with each other. I don't want to downplay everyone else I talk with, everyone has a uniqueness to me.
Talking with the Matchmaker is like talking to myself with a couple extra years of experience. It's like looking at myself with a different pair of eyes, looking at what's happened. He knows what's happened and he's a bridge of sorts to what the lasting consequences are and what they will be.
He shared that he and his friends played the What if? game with me and Yang.
What he shared is of no consequence to everyone reading, but it made me wonder too.
What if...
it went through?
where would I be today? what would I be doing?
would I be warm? would my chest ache with the pain I've wreaked on everyone else's life?
What if...
he didn't marry and commit what everyone calls
the worst mistake in his life?
how would he be now?
Some days it's so easy to forget he ever existed
let alone changed my life.
I'm happy that he taught me so much about myself. What I like and what I don't, the power to push away everything I don't believe is right.
Then sometimes, it's just an almost empty shock.
He did what??
I'm still not even sure how to think of it.
Went to the Laundromat and saw Angel-boy, his two brothers, VP and Thomas. Girl problems...I smile small.
I'm here and I'll never look at interactions the same again.
It's late and my mind is full. Who to turn to now?
Just me and God.
always need to remember that.
