getting married

so I'm feeling a little of a heart flutter.

now pause, and take this in...

...

...


no, I'm not getting married. but I still get a flutter.

My friend is getting married (is married now, wedding in October) and for the first time, I will go to a Hmong wedding and I will be happy about it too.
But I'm just a little nervous, I guess all big things like this make me nervous for all those involved, family, friends, etc etc etc.

And M's parents sat him down the other day and told him to get married soon.
We're supposed to talk about it when I get back.
I'm not getting married. no worries
but I'm feeling mixed again because of a bunch of things,
and I'm beginning to thank God I'm here and not at home to dwell and suffocate myself with worries of others.

Maybe it's that time of month again, but I just feel uneasy again and kind of want to let it out in the liquid form.

I don't want to get married.