conclusions

so... my cat is laid out on my desk, which makes typing slightly difficult, but she's nice to pet, and she likes to listen to the birds.

1) I feel like an idiot when I'm in any kitchen with M. I seriously do. This is one place, that I am totally imcompetent, and yesterday reminded me of that. My technique was awful, my timing hideous, and I just felt unprepared.

2) school is sucking already. I have a buttload of boring as heck reading to do, and my "interesting" class, has become less interesting due to the effervescent and slightly frightening/annoying excitement and passion my professor has for the topic. All other classes, I could care even less for.

3) I should be doing a crapload of reading right now, but motivation is gone and I just feel a big blah.

4) M's paperwork birthday is today. He doesn't really celebrate birthdays. it doesn't help when this isn't his birthday, and no one honestly knows when it is his birthday, except God. Such is the trouble with cultures that don't have calendars or rely heavily on time - you never know when your birthday is - of course, when you don't celebrate it, who cares?

5) highly awkward yesterday, and like he said, "it's only going to get worse". Yeah, I know. but I think my worse is very different from his.

6) I had bad dreams last night, involving shopping, getting lost in the mall, being in a car, trying to switch places with the driver, then a very awkward moment, then I think other bad parts of the dreams that I honestly don't (and don't care) to remember.

7) A very, very Happy unBirthday, to you!

to me?

yes you!!

- Alice in Wonderland?

8) on the good news side, the pants I bought without trying on, I washed and dried and they fit almost perfectly.

9) got a letter from a friend in the Marines, life sucks for her, but will soon get better. I want to spend my morning writing enoucraging letters, but life seems to begin to suck for me too. I can't stop complaining. I think I need to see the kids soon, I miss them. They make life better for me.

hope life is good for you out there and that my negative outpourings make your day a little happier if possible. how they will, who knows. I suppose they won't.

going to listen to the song, my country-ish favorite that M and Mikey sing along with. I swear, if any one has any sweet words for me today, -_-'' be real.