Here's to a new life!

Today was a better day, each day is slightly easier and I'm slowly feeling more comfortable with stillness.

I do believe that this summer, (maybe this day!) is the beginning of my new life. For English I have to write a thank-you letter and I wrote mine to my dad (since I already did for Mother's Day). Writing that letter, and reading Annie's livejournal post, and other things; made me realize that this is the beginning of a huge part of my life.

I've cut most of the bad blotches in my life and though I've said it before, it's time to move on.

Today marks another step in leaving behind the life before. Signed up for Verizon and received the phone in the mail today. Paying for this by myself, setting up everything by myself, and hopefully figuring everything else out by myself. Right now it's sitting on a mound of blankets being charged (for the first time! ^_^) by the wall. I'm tempted to stay up longer to fully activate the phone, but charing requires 2-3 hours more.
So, shortly (this weekend), I'll be wiping out my old phone and putting in the new phone all that I wish to hold on to. I'm most pleased to be leaving behind my old number, just want to cut loose any chance of someone having that number.

In the HC at work, they had a quote up,

"Some say that it's holding on that makes one strong;

sometimes it's letting go."

I feel like I can relate to this a little, part of it. I feel like I'll experience more pain if I don't let things away. It's like I'm hurting myself.

In some ways I am happy about how we ended.

Please make no mistake in thinking he was horrible, oh my goodness that'd be so wrong. He was one of the best guy friends I've ever had, I cannot find a replacement for him, he was good. This is how I would like people to remember him.

But he hurt me so badly, and whether or not on purpose, he chose to end our friendship. Because of the permanence of what he has done, there is no going back. I can only go forward with my own strength, God, and those He has put in my life. I am grateful for these people and for God's grace, that even though I knew choosing him was wrong, God's love is still there. I am blessed with the permanence of these events, because there is no going back, I will not wait on. If it were not as permanent, who knows how long I would have waited.

My life has been thrown off for a month now, possibly longer and I just don't realize it. It's time to get back on track. It's a decision I have to make every day now, to stay on track and do what I'm supposed to do.

Thank you.